My BFF, Schwartzeleh tagged me for the Dumb Ass Meme. No for real. It’s the meme of dumb. Check this out:

“For this meme, I’m going to ask you to answer three questions: What is the dumbest question you’ve ever been asked? Why was it dumb? And, what did you answer?

So, how I will ever narrow it down, I don’t know. So, I’m going to just give you guys some highlights.

#1: Dumb at Work.
Former boss: So, do anything fun for Easter?
LaGuth: Oh, no, I don’t celebrate Easter.
FB: Who on earth doesn’t celebrate Easter?

#2: Dumb on Beauty.
Drunk Girl on Train: Hi? Hi? Hi. Not to be a total lesbian or anything, but do you know that you would be totally pretty without glasses?
DGoT’s Friend: Mindy, that’s mean! She can’t help it!
Guthieroo: I’m actually pretty attached to my glasses. Thank you, though. Sort of.
DGoT to Friend as they exit train: That is so sad! She’ll never be happy.

#3: Dumb with Vices.
Woman in bar more than a decade ago when I used to smoke: Are those cigarettes? Are they Camel lights?
Amy: Yes. (pointing to the pack)
Woman: Oh, may I have one? I love the Marlboro Man in those ads. So hot, right?

#4: Dumb When Meeting New People.
Friend of Friend: Do you think those Jews I met were being nice because they feel guilty about how other Jews are so pushy?
Guth: (blink, blink) Maybe you guys just got on really well.
FoF: No, I’m pretty sure they were Jewish people.

#5: Dumb in time travel.
Guy in train: You look all retro, are you from the 50s?
Gutheleh: (blink, blink) Yes. Yes I am.

#6: Dumb neighbor .
Neighbor: Is that a dog or a cat that you have?
Guthie: A kitty. A little black cat.
Neighbor: Oh, he’s really cute. I saw him sitting in the window.
(And you couldn’t discern between a dog and a cat?)

#7: Dumb Schmooze.
Random guy at schmooze event: Do you have pets?
Guthish: Yes, one cat.
Guy: I love cats, what’s it’s name?
Guthish: It? (laughs) His name is Chairman Meow.
Guy: I don’t get it. Why not “President” or “Mister”.
Guthish: Like Chairman Mao. Maoist China? Cultural Revolution?
Guy: Oh, never saw that one. I heard it was really good though.

#8: Dumb Eyes.
Guy on bus: Are those your real eyes?
Gutho: Yes, I can see out of them and everything.
Guy: No, I mean that color, what do you call that color?
Gutho: Hazel.
Guy: Weeeeird! I’ve never seen eyes that color before.

#9. Dumb on line.
Dude in line: Excuse me? What nationality are you? You look Greek. Are you Greek?
Amyroo: No, I’m a US citizen.
Dude: No, I mean your nationality. You know what that means, right, sweetie?
Amyroo: Yeah, it means the country of which one is a citizen. Do you mean ethnicity, lambchop?
Dude: Whatever. I’m Greek. I only date Greek girls. I hope you’re Greek, baby.
Amyroo: I’m not Greek.