This morning, I was sort of peripherally dealing long-distance with this uber-petty woman who was being needlessly catty in the face of another woman’s generosity and kindness, mostly just to feel superior to the kind and generous woman. I could go on my usual tangent about how frustrating it is to see women being unsupportive of one another, what a shame it is, how irritating it is to me when I so believe in supporting people we care about, how there is no harm in helping others do well… but, this afternoon, I had one of those moments when the universe opens up and throws an bit of perspective into place. As inappropriate as it was, when this snapped into place, I laughed.
You see, shortly after, I get a message that M., a 31-year-old breast cancer survivor, will likely not be a survivor of breast cancer any longer.
And, do you know something? M. has a better attitude about dying than Uber-Petty Woman has about a conversation with another woman she perceives as a threat.
Just let that sink in a moment and then shake your head because it is a fucking shame and a half.
I went to shul tonight, because it’s one of the only places I can fucking think sometimes. Not think as in figure out or decide, but think as in consider, think as in allow, think as in sit with things for what they are.
I didn’t go tonight for what is there, but more for what is not.