Hey kids. I was a far more competent tugboat crew member today. I discovered that if I stand up and keep my knees unlocked (as opposed to sitting), I rather enjoy choppy seas. All is still quite well. I’m unavoidably, yet wonderfully tanned. Much quality time is happening. I made dinner for my parents again tonight. I am slightly favoring their brand of grocery stores to my own.

I would be the rudest blogger on earth if I didn’t share this little tale with you. Today, I stopped to pee at a public restroom and noticed that the sink pipes were wrapped in weatherguard. Here. On the coast. Where it is almost always 75 and sunny. Be serious! After that craziness with my shower back in Chicago last week, all I could do was laugh when I saw these extra-outfitted warm, warm, super-warm pipes.

In totally unrelated news, my mother’s new favorite term is “rat fucker”, which I find hilarious. I think it’s a safe bet that I will probably begin using that right away. So much more descriptive that plain ol’ “fucker”…. no?